a-wet-world

Wednesday, July 25

i want a polar bear.

ERR!

went to yew tee mac to study with justin, samo and wanting. everytime they call JUSTIN, i feel damn weird. where is the NA? justin-NA! it sounds incomplete! ohhh. i think i've been hanging out with justina for too long. and not seeing justin for some time. oh, what to do? i cant help it. justina is my annoying classmate. and justin is a busy 4-distinction-IP-student. =X LOL

samo told us something really interesting!

in the olden times, when people wanted to have sex, they have to ask the king for permission. thats how F.U.C.K came about. it stands for Fornification Under Consent of the King.

HAHAH! it might be bullshit for all we know. o_0

YOU KNOW WHAT. wikipedia isnt exactly the most reliable source. anyone anyhow can just edit the articles and add random, nonsensical stuff into the articles. we tried it out just now... search "sunway lagoon resort hotel". the last words of the single sentence there, "... and Singapore" was added by justin woo! HAHA!

he typed in "i love jay chou" at first. but it disappeared after we searched a 2nd time. then he tried something that sounded more logical. lol. and its still there now! o_0 i actualyl trusted wiki with all my heart. *sniff*

okay. i finished ken kwan's tutorials. checked, rechecked, and re-re-checked the lesson plan. there is absolutely NO reason for him to throw his temper or preach in tomorrow's lesson. :)

i cant finish the stupid pacc tutorial. it is sickeningly tedious. gr.

and the PTH report is almost done! AHH! i'm happy. i dont care what grade i get for it. i just want it done and OVER. next week we have 2 presentations. o_0 TWO!

hoildays, please come quick.

i'm not looking forward to semestrals. 3 papers spread over 10 days. its going to be annoying and draggy. ROARS.

i want a polar bear for a pet. they are the next most adorable animal. after dogs. speaking of which, i miss my dog. these days he kinda ignores me. maybe because i'm not at home much. T_T he used to bother me every morning once my mum leaves the house, scratching at my door to wake me up. but now he goes to my brother's room instead! >.<

fine. go ahead and ignore me. you're fat and lazy anyway!

i still want a polar bear.

EDIT: i cant sleep. and i've worked more than my limit today.

was talking about some rather intense topics with justina tok on the train home today. about err, my wish to leave singapore for better horizons, and her wish to stay put in this safe and cosy greenhouse. about my not-getting-into-a-family, and her must-get-into-a-family. WE HAVE EXTREMELY OPPOSING VIEWS. if she were the arguing sort, we would have ended up quarreling and yelling at each other.

err. well. she says she definitely wants to have her own children, and i say i definitely dont. and she says i will definitely change my mind once my biological clock starts ticking.

okay, let me side track a bit, but, CAN YOU SERIOUSLY IMAGINE JUSTINA TOK WITH KIDS? she'll bring her children to orchard road and then get lost there la! lol.

yah. so. i really dont think i'll have kids in the future. at least thats my mindset right now. because kids are such a BURDEN. and what if my kids turn out to be GEEKS or annoying jerks/bitches? i'll hate them! and and. i cant even enjoy my life properly with kids. i hate it when kids whine and cry for things, especially in public places. sickening shits. >.<

i can be VERY sisterly. but never motherly. my love for kids only go so far. =X

-rafter @ 10:58 pm

gotta catch em all.

i have been staring at the report, and nothing but the report for the past 4 hours. with my earphones tucked tightly in my ears, listening to my current 4 favourite songs on repeat mode again and again and again. my laptop in front of my desktop, working on two keyboards and two mice.

MICE. meetings, incentives, conventions and exhibition.

NO NO. i meant mice as in, mouse. you know? the thing that runs around on the mouse pad and makes your cursor move. thats right. two ~~mouses~~ mice.

reports suck my life out!

and i can just hear joy saying, "nanny, you gotta relax nanny! take yoga!"

-_-!

hahahaha. there has to be at least one nervous wreck in a group. let me be the one. i shall sacrifice. >.<

caught a bit of Urbanvibe(SB talentime) today during our break. WHOOT! there's this guy who had a reeaaaaalllyyyy goood voice! AH! cant remember anything about him though. think he was frm DMC. or was it DAC? errr. and there was another girl-guy duet, she sang "sweet child" by guns and roses, and boy oh boy, can she sing. NICE! =D

korean exchange students coming to school tmrw. justina is so damn hyped about it, she told all of us to wear skirts tmrw. and she commanded me to buy egg tart for her tmrw morning. -_-

NO MORE ECONS! ehh okay. one more week! =D

so much to do. so much to do.

i am in love with rascal flatts - what hurts the most. i still remember i first heard the chorus on wanting's handphone. keep playing and playing, so annoying. err. then it kinda got stuck in my head. so i went to listen to the whole song. AND ITS DAMN NICE!

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm ok
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' It
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

-rafter @ 12:28 am

Saturday, July 21

espanol

lalalalala.

there is a knife stabbed in my heart, twisting and turning about. painful, bleeding, torturing. its seriously unhealthy to be like that. HAZARDOUS.

i will take one step back. really, really. this time. really. one huge step back.

i should have ran all the way back long ago.

ahhhh well.

there are a lot of things going on which needs settling. i think through them every night, get so stressed, then cant sleep properly.

PTH 15 page report (1
CD presentation (2
ITAB frontpage project (3
NYAA community service + physical recreation sections (3
BBCO concert tickets closure (4
1hr combine performance on 26aug (5
BBCO chalet 10-14 aug (6
signing up for 3rd language (7
SEMESTRAL EXAMS 13th-23rd aug (8

and then later in the year....

INDIVIDUAL TALENTS CONCERT in dec (9
spco concert in jan (10
BBCO annual concert in god-knows-when! (11

oh my god. i hate concerts. just kill me, please? i dont want to take part in the individual talents one. i dont want to do the duet with jiunn yuan. in fact, i dont want to do duets, or solos, AT ALL. let me handle the paperwork. the logistics. the admins. the operations. i can do those. oh yes i can. i'm so jaded to those already.

but a duet will KILL me.

i have STAGE FRIGHT alright. >.<

WHERE the hell are we going to find the people to perform on 26th aug in such short notice? ONE HOUR some more! what songs are we gonna present?! and and OH MY COW the 2 practices for this fall smack right in the middle of poly SEMESTRALS. what the fuck?

they skip practice when they have small little CAs. this time its semestrals... which means i wont even be able to get them on the phone? o_0

and and and! if we want to sell enough tickets to make profits for the talents concert in dec, we have to start publicity NOW. N.O.W!

i'm in deep shit man. the rest of the year is going to be damn tough.

especially august.

-rafter @ 11:23 pm

Friday, July 20

screw garnier.

I DYED MY HAIR RED.

picked the brightest red available on the shelfs. BRIGHTEST.

and out it comes like black. no difference. what the hell!

even my faded-out-red-highlights-that-became-blonde were covered by the dye, and became close to black. SO. ITS LIKE.

BLACK HAIR. o_0

my first time attempting DIY hair colouring. HAH. fail fail fail.

i want bright red hair. bright bright bright kind of RED hair. >.<

it was a very sudden impulse. ahhh well.

-rafter @ 09:01 pm

Thursday, July 19

blood red nails

EDIT:

wow. wow.

ken just went FLOP in our tutorial today. totally. he just.

BOOM.

exploded.

wow. and he yelled at us for more than half an hour. havent seen any poly teacher that angry before. lol.

actually i find that it wasnt such a big deal at all. all huijuan did was voice her honest opinion, even if she sounded rude, but come on la, HELLO, we are YOUNGSTERS. its good enough she didnt use any vulgarities.

he says NO ONE in his entire teaching life has ever been this outrageously rude to him. okay, clearly he has NOT seen the cruel world before. maybe cuz he comes from very educated and nerdy schools. he hasnt seen a nerighbourhood secondary school class before. hasnt seen a neighbourhood secondary school student.

so maybe thats y he reacted SO EXTREMELY. -_-

seriously, he was so angry we could see his fingers trembling. he looked as if he was going to burst into tears... o_0 i think it was a very tramautic experience for him. afterall, its his virgin experience of a rude student. >.<

okay i'm being very mean.

i dont want to go to pokemon's lesson tmrw. =(

/EDIT.

EH EH.

i feel immensely guilty and unhappy and depressed right now, after reading jess's blog. like errrrrr. its like. kind of like reality and emotions tugging at my both ends, trying to tear me apart.

OKAY not making sense. hummm. reality is cold, hard and cruel i tell you. its changes people. a lot.

-rafter @ 11:04 am

Wednesday, July 18

like, HELLO.

WAAHHH. we just discovered some treasure in FC6 once again. that is.... *drumrolls* FRUIT TART.

ahem.

yeah. its damn nice lah. as JOY says, it is orgasmic. zomg. *droools*

erm. life sucks. what else is new? ARGHHHH.

that bloody freaking poa test is TOMORROW. =(

willian just LEFT!!! T_T wanting went to send him off at the airport. argh i wish i went. but POA test is tmrw! me and the babies went to Mug@Moberly today to study after lessons.

i am about to become a tested and proven NERD. =(

i think Mug@Moberly is damn nice place to study in. so is Main Library.

that is seriously the best ugly face i can give. =X

justina tok was eyeing on my boobs AGAIN! o_0

like hello? study la girls!

-rafter @ 09:54 pm

watching you walk away.

i kind of like renewed my entire blogskin.

and feel like thats an understatement. UNDERSTATEMENT OKAY. i spent HOURS editting the bloody html. when i should have been studying ACCOUNTS! SHIT!

but it was so fun. i get this immeeeeeeeeense satisfaction after completing the skin. NYAHAHA. i'm weird. -_-

studied at main library with joy justina jordan chuping and john after school today. OMG i think i'm really morphing into a nerd. o_0

i have a lot of dead links. have to clear up the cobwebs. GR. troublesome shit.

PTH 15 page IR report, PTH class hotel project, CD powerpoint presentation, ITAB frontpage project; all due soon. i hate projects. >.<

frontpage is stressing me out like hell. I DUNNO HOW TO DO FRONTPAGE. please just throw me an empty white page and let me fill in the html from scratch, manually. the whole point of frontpage is to make it more convenient to make websites right? then what is the point of using it if its so damn bloody confusing until i dunno how to use?!?!

screw ITAB. -_-

finally got back all my results.

86% : ITAB
87% : FUNE
77% : PACC
89% : PTH
84% : STATS

yeps. grrrr. that bloody B bugs me to no end. =(

OKAY I SHALL NOT COMPLAIN. i worked hard for it, its over, so be it. lets all work harder the next round. yay.

i should really sleep.

-rafter @ 12:09 am

Monday, July 16

amazing.

humm. huge pang of loss just hit me like a wave.

i really, really, really miss grace very, very, very much.

i miss her loud, bold, shouting laughter. her laughter shakes the whole house. she laughs like nobody else lives on earth, without care, without restraint. we used to always chide her for being so loud. but right now, i would die to hear that laughter just once more.

i miss her dancing, prancing around the house. introducing us to movies about passionate dreams. Center Stage. Bring it On. i miss her love for dancing.

i miss her bringing us out to have fun. i miss her nagging at us to watch our diet. i miss her ridiculously wide grin. i miss her pouting when the four of us sometimes leave her out of our fun. i miss her standing up on a chair to yell to everyone the game instructions during the crhistmas parties. i miss her animated talking. and her big bright eyes.

ahhhh. its tearing me up. lol.

i like to think that she's somewhere, i dont know and dont care where, somewhere that is nice and fluffy and comfortable. somewhere with no pain; not from falling down, or falling in love. somewhere where only happiness and smiles exist. she's there, and she's looking down at us on earth, laughing her ass off while we slog through our lives.

it makes me feel a tad bit better. yeah.

i think i'm gonna flunk thursday's accounts paper. its not exactly easy.

-rafter @ 06:27 pm

the boy next door.

*GASP* i very nearly forgot about my brother's birthday party at my house last night. -_-

hum. my house is loaded with food. the entire family cooked again. just like catering style again. SO MUCH YUMMY FOOD! =D *droooools*

family came over. his usual gang came over. blah blah blah. DA KORKOR CAME. wah. its been ages since i seen him. i cant even remember his name. i think its desmond. and he's very very good looking. and he's 29 years old! but he looks 20! ah! even my brother looks older than him.

i'm hungry.

i'm sitting in ITAB class, still learning frontpage. its getting on my nerves. all that stupid formats and irritating options. its no longer interesting. =X

huummm. PACC is damn difficult.

i think i'm morphing into a nerd. =(

yesterday we ate at viLaGe with willian. our last meal together. haha. he's flying off to SYDNEY. that lucky pig. i'll miss his cockiness. HAH.

i might take espanol next semester.

ciao.

-rafter @ 09:42 am

Sunday, July 15

thank you.

HAH! if you had the patience to wait until you can read this post properly, i salute you. my new skin's picture is a humongous PNG file. HEH HEH.

anyway, those pictures are of our raft in action. rafters are vivian, fiona, marwin, gaoxiang, ms kim, and mr i-cant-remember-his-name, and 2 of the local guides.

i have decided to shelf the idea of SHIFTING. because blogdrive is the easiest manipulative server man. HAHA. i tried wordpress. i tried livejournal. ahhh. so nice, no advertisments at all. but i dont like long endless layouts. =(

erm. TOMORROW is willian's farewell. we're meeting up to have a meal and to talk. gooooosssshhh its been AGES since i last saw him. he's going off to dunno-where to study.

i'm supposed to SLEEP now. hello.

i have some serious problems with this new skin. it just doesnt sit right with me. something is WRONG.

-rafter @ 01:23 am

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